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[Richie London]

Paddy goes to the doctors and says 'doctor i have a sore arse'.The doctor bends him over and finds a wad of money up there.'How much was up there asks Paddy'?The docotor replies £1900'.'Sounds about right' replies paddy, 'i knew i didnt feel too grand'!   

[Richie London]

A young pikey couple get married,the brides mother says to her...
"Now that you are married your husband is going to want to put his prize possession where you piss"

Daughter replies
"Why the opps would he want to put his tarmac rake in the caravan sink?"

[waspy]

Paddy goes to the doctors and says 'doctor i have a sore arse'.The doctor bends him over and finds a wad of money up there.'How much was up there asks Paddy'?The docotor replies £1900'.'Sounds about right' replies paddy, 'i knew i didnt feel too grand'!   

 

[Richie London]

In a small parish church, one Sunday, an almighty cloud of smoke appeared, followed by a big flash.
When the smoke cleared, the devil was stood in the middle of the church, laughing.
All the parishioners screamed and ran out the door, closely followed by the vicar! All except one old man sat in the front.
"Why didn't you run away like everyone else? Do you know who I am? " the devil asked.
"I'm surprised that you don't recognise me." replied the old man, " I married you're sister."

[Dishevelled Den]

All three 

[Welung666]

I had the Pikey one in a text the other day, I nearly soiled myself laughing when I read it

[Lizzie_Zoom]

 

[Vamps]

 

[dbug]

Boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had s*x for
 the first time, the proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate,
 but you will have to wait until next pay day' boy says 'that's alright
 Dad, my a*se is too sore to ride it anyway'

[dbug]

Had my first Gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's
 home last night. They didn't get any of my jokes but they still pissed
 themselves.

[dbug]

I was at Tesco this afternoon, when a lady dropped dead in
 front of me, I felt really sorry for her - she had just bought a Bag
 for Life.

[Dishevelled Den]

Boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had s*x for
 the first time, the proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate,
 but you will have to wait until next pay day' boy says 'that's alright
 Dad, my a*se is too sore to ride it anyway'

  quality

[Mr Skrunts]

Excellent, keep them coming. 

[Ghost]

Brill think there good [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif] [smiley=evil.gif]

[Richie London]

An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained;

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any rather Frenchmen to show it to."