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[doog]

An old man walks into the bank of Ireland and shouts to the Woman at the

counter:

"I want to open a f*cking Current account".

The astonished woman replies "I beg your pardon sir. I must have

misunderstood you; what did you say?"

"Listen up, you f*ck. I said I want to open a f*cking current account

now!!".

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this

bank".

The cashier leaves the counter and goes over to the bank manager to

inform him of her situation.

The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul

language.

They both return to the window and the manager asks the old man, "Sir,

what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no f*cking problem" the man says. "I just won 6 million Euro

in the f*cking lotto and I just want to open a f*cking current account,

you b*ll*x, is that okay?"

"I see," says the manager, "and is this fat bitch giving you a hard time?

 

[waspy]

 

[STMO999]

 

[PhilRich]

  yes, it really was that funny

[ScottieMV6]

Absolute class

[Stevie-blunder]

 

[Ziad]

 

[Jimbo B]

excellent

[maria]

That was funny

[Lizzie_Zoom]

 

[rob in gib]

Just came across this one again



A   Janner  walks into a bank in  Plymouth

and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to Australia on business
For one or maybe two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank
Will need some form of security for the loan,
So the canny  lad hands over the keys
and documents of his new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the Log Book and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's Manager and its officers
All enjoy a good laugh at the rough looking   lad 
For using a £150,000 Ferrari
As collateral against a £5000 loan.
An employee of the bank then
drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the  lad  returns,
repays the £5,000 and the interest,
which comes to £15.41.
The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
And this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled, while you were away
we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000 ?




"Where else in  Plymouth   can I park my car
For two weeks for only £15.41
And expect it to be there when I return, 

 

 

HOW TRUE

 

[Bent valve]

Just came across this one again



A   Janner walks into a bank in  Plymouth

and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to Australia on business
For one or maybe two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank
Will need some form of security for the loan,
So the canny  lad hands over the keys
and documents of his new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the Log Book and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's Manager and its officers
All enjoy a good laugh at the rough looking   lad 
For using a £150,000 Ferrari
As collateral against a £5000 loan.
An employee of the bank then
drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the  lad  returns,
repays the £5,000 and the interest,
which comes to £15.41.
The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
And this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled, while you were away
we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000 ?




"Where else in  Plymouth   can I park my car
For two weeks for only £15.41
And expect it to be there when I return, 

 

 

HOW TRUE

 

Coming from oop north I had no idea what a janner was, until I read this...http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/2005/02/plymouth-the-janner-textbook/comment-page-1/

[Mr Skrunts]

both good jokes.