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Author Topic: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....  (Read 1441 times)

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hotel21

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You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« on: 02 February 2010, 11:07:45 »

You might be (or were) a Copper if.....

You have the bladder capacity of five people.

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

You believe that 75% of people are a waste of space.

Your idea of a good time is an armed robbery at shift change.

You call for a name check on anyone who is remotely friendly to you.

Discussing dismemberment over dinner seems perfectly normal to you.

You find humour in other people's stupidity.

You have your weekends off planned for a year.

You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says " God its Quiet today".
   
Whenever you phone someone, you ask them 'Are you free to speak?'

Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than a Computer can track.

You're the only sober person in the kebab house.

You believe chocolate is a food group.

Having alcohol at 7am seems perfectly normal.

You have ever wanted to hold a seminar called "Suicide, getting it right The first time".

You believe "Too stupid to Live" should be a valid court outcome.

When you mention vegetables, you're not referring to a food group.

You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

Your prisoner states "I have no idea how I got here" - and neither have You.

You end normal conversations with loved ones with 10/4 or Acknowledged.

You walk down the street looking at people as potential criminal intelligence submissions

You believe the carpet bombing of certain areas of your beat is a viable alternative to policing

Your favourite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
 
You are the only person you know who ever uses the word 'obliged'.

Your partner tells you off for walking with your hands held together behind your back.

At least once every working day you use the phrase, "The job's f*****!"

You regularly say, "With all due respect, Sir" but mean nothing of the sort.

You have a nose finely tuned to the smells of cannabis, decomposition and stale body odour.

You think Thursday is the best night to go into town for a drink with your mates.

You nodded and laughed at all of the above, and realised what a sick bunch we all are or were!
« Last Edit: 02 February 2010, 11:08:19 by hotel21 »
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albitz

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #1 on: 02 February 2010, 11:16:23 »

Very good. :y................Im sure you are prepared for all the inevitable additons to your list. ;D
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hotel21

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #2 on: 02 February 2010, 11:17:30 »

Quote
Very good. :y................Im sure you are prepared for all the inevitable additons to your list. ;D

C'est la vie....  ::)
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Varche

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #3 on: 02 February 2010, 11:45:07 »

Excellent!
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Welung666

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #4 on: 02 February 2010, 11:49:06 »

I'm not or never have been a copper but I do at least 2/3's of that list.... perhaps I should apply ;D ;D
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Lazydocker

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #5 on: 02 February 2010, 11:50:43 »

Quote
I'm not or never have been a copper but I do at least 2/3's of that list.... perhaps I should apply ;D ;D

I'd had the same thought ;D ;D
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #6 on: 02 February 2010, 11:57:26 »

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JEMD5Jtb3A[/media]
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feeutfo

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #7 on: 02 February 2010, 17:02:43 »

Quote
Quote
I'm not or never have been a copper but I do at least 2/3's of that list.... perhaps I should apply ;D ;D

I'd had the same thought ;D ;D
only one that didnt apply was the sober in a kebab shop line, thats never happened to me. I can here Mr 21 rolling his eyes as he reads this though. ;D
« Last Edit: 02 February 2010, 17:03:59 by chrisgixer »
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Kevin Wood

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #8 on: 02 February 2010, 17:25:32 »

Quote
only one that didnt apply was the sober in a kebab shop line, thats never happened to me. I can here Mr 21 rolling his eyes as he reads this though. ;D

Happened to us recently. Fast food outlets are in short supply after a certain hour in Alton.

Couldn't face a kebab, though. Discovered he makes the best houmous I've ever tasted though. Just have that on a bit of Pitta bread now. :-*

Kevin
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feeutfo

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #9 on: 02 February 2010, 17:35:17 »

Quote
Quote
only one that didnt apply was the sober in a kebab shop line, thats never happened to me. I can here Mr 21 rolling his eyes as he reads this though. ;D

Happened to us recently. Fast food outlets are in short supply after a certain hour in Alton.

Couldn't face a kebab, though. Discovered he makes the best houmous I've ever tasted though. Just have that on a bit of Pitta bread now. :-*

Kevin
some foods apply to the same pinta scale as some bar maids, kebabs are about a 5 pinta before i can eat a whole one. Burgers, chips and some slim long legged females however require no pintas at all... :)
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Kevin Wood

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #10 on: 02 February 2010, 17:48:36 »

Quote
some foods apply to the same pinta scale as some bar maids, kebabs are about a 5 pinta before i can eat a whole one. Burgers, chips and some slim long legged females however require no pintas at all... :)

.. and then there are the ones that require paper bags too. :-X

Kevin
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mudflap

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« Last Edit: 02 February 2010, 18:02:45 by mudflap »
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feeutfo

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #12 on: 02 February 2010, 18:15:36 »

Quote
Quote
some foods apply to the same pinta scale as some bar maids, kebabs are about a 5 pinta before i can eat a whole one. Burgers, chips and some slim long legged females however require no pintas at all... :)

.. and then there are the ones that require paper bags too. :-X

Kevin
Blimey, 5pints AND a bag. Never met any that bad.
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Vamps

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #13 on: 02 February 2010, 21:20:55 »

Quote
Quote
I'm not or never have been a copper but I do at least 2/3's of that list.... perhaps I should apply ;D ;D

I'd had the same thought ;D ;D

And me......... :-X
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feeutfo

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Re: You Might Be (or Were) a Copper if....
« Reply #14 on: 03 February 2010, 00:37:56 »

perhaps H21 is on a recruitment drive? :-X
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