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[mathewst]

The Meaning of Service

 

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service."

 

"It's the act of doing things for other people." Then I heard these terms which reference the word service:

 

Internal Revenue Service

Postal Service

Telephone Service

Civil Service

City & County Public Service

Customer Service

Service Stations

 

Then I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.

 

So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows. Suddenly, it all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are all about.

 

I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.

[mathewst]

The Tell-Tale Clock

 

The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down way too easy. At 3 am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times.

Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Got away with that one, I thought!

Then she told me we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, "Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'Oh crap,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."

[PhilRich]

  for the 1st one,  for the 2nd