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Author Topic: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60  (Read 1839 times)

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dad1uk

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Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« on: 15 July 2010, 10:14:28 »

[size=14]
 Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...


Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!



01.  Kidnappers are not very interested in you.


02.In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 


03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.


04.People call at 9 PM and ask, did I wake you?


05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.


06.  There is nothing left to learn the hard way.


07. Things you buy now won't wear out


08.  You can eat supper at 4 PM.


09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.


10.  You get into heated arguments about pension plans.


11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.


12.  You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 


13.  You sing along with elevator music.


14.Your eyes won't get much worse.


15  . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 


16.  Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.


17.  Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.


18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.   


19.You can't remember who sent you this list.


And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.




And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. [/size]
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best wishes
Simon.

Varche

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #1 on: 15 July 2010, 10:17:57 »

Very good.

I have made a note on my list of things to do to send that to my friend. Now where is the list! ;D ;D ;D
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cem_devecioglu

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #2 on: 15 July 2010, 10:22:18 »

 ;D ;D ;D :y
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Sixstring

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #3 on: 15 July 2010, 10:23:42 »

Quote
[size=14]
 Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...


Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!



01.  Kidnappers are not very interested in you.


02.In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 


03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.


04.People call at 9 PM and ask, did I wake you?


05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.


06.  There is nothing left to learn the hard way.


07. Things you buy now won't wear out


08.  You can eat supper at 4 PM.


09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.


10.  You get into heated arguments about pension plans.


11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.


12.  You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 


13.  You sing along with elevator music.


14.Your eyes won't get much worse.


15  . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 


16.  Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.


17.  Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.


18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.   


19.You can't remember who sent you this list.


And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.




And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. [/size]

Excellant advice!!! (especially after a good curry..............)
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hoofing it

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #4 on: 15 July 2010, 10:24:18 »

you forgot one
[size=18]you get 10% at B&Q on wednesdays[/size]
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #5 on: 15 July 2010, 10:37:09 »

At fifty ....I'm a junior coffin dodger.....and I don't like it...... :-/ :-/ :-/
Given a choice between exuberant youth and vigour.......... or experience... senility.....and incontinence......I know which one I would go for..... :)
« Last Edit: 15 July 2010, 10:38:40 by optimist »
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Pitchfork

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #6 on: 15 July 2010, 11:03:23 »

I'm 61 next month - many thanks for the advice ;)
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Mysteryman

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #7 on: 15 July 2010, 11:11:21 »

I'm glad I wont have to worry about that lot for a good few years. ::)
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #8 on: 15 July 2010, 11:23:29 »

Quote
I'm glad I wont have to worry about that lot for a good few years. ::)



.....fibber... ::) ;)
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Mysteryman

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #9 on: 15 July 2010, 11:27:37 »

Quote
Quote
I'm glad I wont have to worry about that lot for a good few years. ::)





.....fibber... ::) ;)

I'm not as senile as you. If I were going to say 'Not as smart as his avatar', I would have an avatar. ::) ;D
« Last Edit: 15 July 2010, 11:28:06 by Mysteryman »
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bob.dent

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #10 on: 15 July 2010, 11:47:41 »

Like it! :y ;D

Not sure about the singing along with elevator music though - haven't got quite as bad as that yet!! ::) ;D
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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #11 on: 15 July 2010, 13:46:23 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
I'm glad I wont have to worry about that lot for a good few years. ::)





.....fibber... ::) ;)

I'm not as senile as you. If I were going to say 'Not as smart as his avatar', I would have an avatar. ::) ;D

I tried to replace Bobby Fischer ......with Carl Sagan.....but sadly..... I'm not very good at technical tasks.... :-/ :-/....hence no avatar... :-/
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #12 on: 15 July 2010, 13:56:08 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
I'm glad I wont have to worry about that lot for a good few years. ::)





.....fibber... ::) ;)

I'm not as senile as you. If I were going to say 'Not as smart as his avatar', I would have an avatar. ::) ;D

I tried to replace Bobby Fischer ......with Carl Sagan.....but sadly..... I'm not very good at technical tasks.... :-/ :-/....hence no avatar... :-/


Try this one instead Opti. :y :y


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Pitchfork

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #13 on: 15 July 2010, 14:10:45 »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
I'm glad I wont have to worry about that lot for a good few years. ::)





.....fibber... ::) ;)

I'm not as senile as you. If I were going to say 'Not as smart as his avatar', I would have an avatar. ::) ;D

I tried to replace Bobby Fischer ......with Carl Sagan.....but sadly..... I'm not very good at technical tasks.... :-/ :-/....hence no avatar... :-/


Try this one instead Opti. :y :y


Arragh!!! the Arch-Bitch!! :'(
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PhilRich

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Re: Perks(?) of reaching 50 or being over 60
« Reply #14 on: 15 July 2010, 14:31:47 »

gfhnbvfgd  vngf.....oops, sorry :-[ couldn't find my glasses! ;D ;D ;D
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