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Author Topic: are you giving 100% at work?  (Read 2310 times)

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jerry

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are you giving 100% at work?
« on: 12 September 2010, 22:40:51 »

In these hard times how often do you hear about giving 100% at work-or even 110%!Well, someone sent me a ready reckoner.See how you fair guys/girls.Just what does it mean to give more than 100%?Here is a simple mathematical formula to see how you contribute to your workplace:

First take the alphabet and allocate each letter a number so that A=1,B=2,C=3 and so on until Z=26.
Now then,for example, HARDWORK becomes 8 plus 1plus18plus4plus23plus15plus18plus11=98%
and KNOWLEDGE=96% but ATTITUDE=100%. So you see, the right attitude really is the most important thing .As for all those managers who claim to put in more than 100% and demand the same from you, just consider that BULLSH*T=103% and ASSKISSING=118%. And so, with mathematical certainty you can conclude that whilst hardwork and knowledge will get you close and attitude will get you there , it really is bullsh*t and asskissing that will impress your boss most and put you over the top :y
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #1 on: 12 September 2010, 23:27:23 »

Have I seen you in the lofty corridors of Marsham Street Jerry? ;D ;D :y
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jerry

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #2 on: 12 September 2010, 23:31:36 »

Quote
Have I seen you in the lofty corridors of Marsham Street Jerry? ;D ;D :y

you might think that Z, I couldnt possibly comment ;D ;D
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Amigo

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #3 on: 13 September 2010, 00:14:27 »

Interesting idea but as with work my attention span just expir.........  ..   ....... :D
                                       
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PhilRich

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #4 on: 13 September 2010, 16:06:02 »

I consistently gave 100% but could never manage anything more :(
But then again, I was only the Boss! ;D ;)
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Mysteryman

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #5 on: 13 September 2010, 16:27:44 »

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I consistently gave 100% but could never manage anything more :(
But then again, I was only the Boss! ;D ;)before the company went bust because I was useless


Very candid Phil :-?
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PhilRich

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #6 on: 13 September 2010, 16:36:06 »

Quote
Quote
I consistently gave 100% but could never manage anything more :(
But then again, I was only the Boss! ;D ;)before the company went bust because I was useless



Very candid Phil :-?







Ho Ho Bloody Ho! ;D ;D ;)


« Last Edit: 13 September 2010, 16:36:42 by philrich1064 »
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Richie London

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #7 on: 13 September 2010, 18:09:59 »

my days of giving 100% are dead. never worked for anyone who gives 100% back to there staff, even had 2 blokes i've worked for TRY! to knock me for money. thats what its like working for mickey mouse outfits in the building game.
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MikeDundee

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #8 on: 13 September 2010, 18:38:13 »

Quote
In these hard times how often do you hear about giving 100% at work-or even 110%!Well, someone sent me a ready reckoner.See how you fair guys/girls.Just what does it mean to give more than 100%?Here is a simple mathematical formula to see how you contribute to your workplace:

First take the alphabet and allocate each letter a number so that A=1,B=2,C=3 and so on until Z=26.
Now then,for example, HARDWORK becomes 8 plus 1plus18plus4plus23plus15plus18plus11=98%
and KNOWLEDGE=96% but ATTITUDE=100%. So you see, the right attitude really is the most important thing .As for all those managers who claim to put in more than 100% and demand the same from you, just consider that BULLSH*T=103% and ASSKISSING=118%. And so, with mathematical certainty you can conclude that whilst hardwork and knowledge will get you close and attitude will get you there , it really is bullsh*t and asskissing that will impress your boss most and put you over the top :y

Interesting formula :y, but at the end of the day most managers will not use such a formula to guage whether staff are putting in 100% or more, my formula - common sense approach, asskick when work not done or crap work done, Oh and a pint a day keeps the stress away.

However, there's always rules to be adhered too with any employer whether manager or not
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shane1000

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #9 on: 13 September 2010, 20:00:36 »

i'm a prison officer and first thing tommorrow im going along to my manager with this new information ... will let you know if i can go home tommorrow night or will be kept in !! :D :D :D
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Webby the Bear

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #10 on: 13 September 2010, 21:33:45 »

the only thing i give 100% to is my omega, drinking beer and w*nking (whilst at work) :y
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Webby the Bear

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #11 on: 13 September 2010, 21:34:14 »

zulu, what is that on your cat's head? lol
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #12 on: 13 September 2010, 21:39:34 »

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zulu, what is that on your cat's head? lol

A rice bowl Webby 8-) ;D :y
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Webby the Bear

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #13 on: 13 September 2010, 21:40:20 »

hahaha love it ;)

is that your cat?
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Dishevelled Den

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Re: are you giving 100% at work?
« Reply #14 on: 13 September 2010, 21:42:21 »

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hahaha love it ;)

is that your cat?


No W, if I tried to do that to any of mine they would have me in shreds. ;D :y
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