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[PhilRich]

Traffic Cop pulls this bloke over & says, "Irishstew in the name of the Law!", "you've jumped three red lights in the last 200 yards, what have you got to say for yourself?"
"So i'm colour blind, so what?" says the motorist.
"And you were speeding as well!" said the Cop.
"Yeah, sez you!", said the motorist.
"And on top of all that, you were going the wrong way down a one-way street!" said the Cop, his eyes beginning to bulge.
"I've always had a lousy sense of direction", said the motorist, "and anyway, it's this stupid tit's fault cos she's navigating!" said the motorist.
At that point, the motorist's wife leaned over & said, "You'll have to excuse him Officer", "he's always like this when he's just lost his PostCount!" 






I was getting into my car earlier today and this bloke came up to me & said, "Can you give me a lift?"
"Yes sure", I said; "You look great, nice suit, the World's your Lobster, go for it mate!
I'm nothing if not helpful, me 

[Mysteryman]

That's it now. There's no more...is there?

[PhilRich]

That's it now. There's no more...is there?

There's LOADS!...What's it worth?

[waspy]

That's it now. There's no more...is there?

I do hope so

[Mysteryman]

There's quite a few newbies on the forum at the moment. If they see so-called senior members going on like this, they'll run a mile.

[PhilRich]

There's quite a few newbies on the forum at the moment. If they see so-called senior members going on like this, they'll run a mile.

I'm not a 'Senior Member' , i'm not even a Senior Citizen....just!

[Mysteryman]

There's quite a few newbies on the forum at the moment. If they see so-called senior members going on like this, they'll run a mile.

I'm not a 'Senior Member' , i'm not even a Senior Citizen....just!

But you have senior moments?

[PhilRich]

Sherlock Holmes & Dr Watson are resting in their Hotel room when a tree suddenly walks in!
"What the F...lips that?" says Watson.
"Elm entry, my dear Watson" says Holmes. 

[Mysteryman]

Sherlock Holmes & Dr Watson are resting in their Hotel room when a tree suddenly walks in!
"What the F...lips that?" says Watson.
"Elm entry, my dear Watson" says Holmes. 

You're gettin these of a kids internet site, aren't yer?

[PhilRich]

I used to dress 'Off the Peg" but the neighbours take their washing in at night now!






The Postman knocked on the door this morning. He said, "Is this letter for you, the name is smudged"
"Nah, mate", I said " My names Richmond"

[waspy]

Sherlock Holmes & Dr Watson are resting in their Hotel room when a tree suddenly walks in!
"What the F...lips that?" says Watson.
"Elm entry, my dear Watson" says Holmes. 

Oh gawd & to think i actually encouraged him

[PhilRich]

There's quite a few newbies on the forum at the moment. If they see so-called senior members going on like this, they'll run a mile.

I'm not a 'Senior Member' , i'm not even a Senior Citizen....just!

But you have senior moments?

[/highlight]







Well, to be honest I do dribble from both ends these days!