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Author Topic: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news  (Read 1477 times)

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Vamps

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Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« on: 14 December 2010, 23:45:28 »
He has just come in, so needed to tell him before his elder brother does....swmbo has gone to bed.
Got home from work, Miss Vamps of to Brownies Christmas Party to find swmbo in tears.  Sadly her father has been admitted to a hospice today and his days are numbered......I have tried to be supportive but what can you say and do? I guess just be there to pick up the pieces, and as a practical person put in a plan for Miss Vamps in case we are suddenly called away.....
I am 53 and for some years now have been thinking that sooner or later one or more of our parents are going to pass away, wondering what I would do, looks like I am going to find out..... :(

Bloody Christmas, stubborn old bugger...... ::)
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millwall

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #1 on: 14 December 2010, 23:49:40 »
sorry to hear that mate  cant be easy especially at this time of year   you have to keep it together to look after your family
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Bixy1

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #2 on: 14 December 2010, 23:54:26 »
I'm really sorry to hear that.
I lost my mother in March. . . .its impossible to describe....
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Nickbat

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #3 on: 14 December 2010, 23:54:40 »
Sad news, Vamps.  :'(

I lost my dad when I was 14 and my mum (on New Year's Eve) when I was 29. The loss remains forever, but I "celebrate" the fact that, albeit for a shortish time, I could not have had better parents. They made me what I am today, and I am eternally grateful for that.  :y

Does that make sense?  :-?
« Last Edit: 14 December 2010, 23:59:31 by Nickbat »
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vauxfan2k

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #4 on: 14 December 2010, 23:56:17 »
cant think of a better person to help them through this than you, somehow you will all manage, mostly as you go along. planning isnt everything.

Be strong  :y
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #5 on: 14 December 2010, 23:58:08 »
Sad new at any tome of the year Mike.  All you can do is be there to support and comfort her and get her to talk about the good times to try and remain possitive, sadly it will get worse before it gets to that point were she (you and family) will all come to terms with it all.

Such a sad time of year, my thoughts are with you all.
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Debs.

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #6 on: 14 December 2010, 23:59:01 »
 :'(Awful......especially-so where tiddlers are meeting 'the' issue for the first time.

Be strong, matter-of-fact and be sensitive to any questions 'not being asked'......for often, kids (surprisingly) think talking about death will upset you/mum.

Remember for dear-SWMBO; a hug is going to be worth 10,000 words! ;)
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #7 on: 15 December 2010, 00:04:12 »
Quote
:'(Awful......especially-so where tiddlers are meeting 'the' issue for the first time.

Be strong, matter-of-fact and be sensitive to any questions 'not being asked'......for often, kids (surprisingly) think talking about death will upset you/mum.

Remember for dear-SWMBO; a hug is going to be worth 10,000 words! ;)
[/highlight]

How that is Debs.  :y
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Vamps

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #8 on: 15 December 2010, 00:23:47 »
Thanks peeps for your kind replies... :)  We will just take it as it comes over the next few days.
Talking to swmbo I want her to go and see him tomorrow, and again, if he stays with us, just so that she can say last words etc, she will but is a little reluctant as wants to remember him as last seen, I can see it both ways......
When the time comes we will deal with it, I know the theory just putting it in to practice is not so easy.... ::) ::) ::)
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BigAl

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #9 on: 15 December 2010, 00:26:44 »
Quote
Thanks peeps for your kind replies... :)  We will just take it as it comes over the next few days.
Talking to swmbo I want her to go and see him tomorrow, and again, if he stays with us, just so that she can say last words etc, she will but is a little reluctant as wants to remember him as last seen, I can see it both ways......
When the time comes we will deal with it, I know the theory just putting it in to practice is not so easy.... ::) ::) ::)
don't know the circumstances, but if I was in his place and was lucid - i wouldn't want to die alone or with strangers
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Vamps

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #10 on: 15 December 2010, 00:39:33 »
Quote
Quote
Thanks peeps for your kind replies... :)  We will just take it as it comes over the next few days.
Talking to swmbo I want her to go and see him tomorrow, and again, if he stays with us, just so that she can say last words etc, she will but is a little reluctant as wants to remember him as last seen, I can see it both ways......
When the time comes we will deal with it, I know the theory just putting it in to practice is not so easy.... ::) ::) ::)
don't know the circumstances, but if I was in his place and was lucid - i wouldn't want to die alone or with strangers
[/highlight]

I quite agree, we know because we have been there with myself, I survived Cancer, which is perhaps making it harder for her? to be honest I do not know, just go with the flow I guess...
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Jimbob

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #11 on: 15 December 2010, 07:47:12 »
All the best Mike, Not an easy time  :'(
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I_want_an_Omega

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #12 on: 15 December 2010, 08:10:48 »
I've also been there, thing is there is no "manual for life" and you have to do what you think is the right thing on a day by day basis.

Talking helps a lot - not the profound conversations, but making a cuppa last half an hour and listening to how someone's day has been and making supportive comments really helps.

There isn't a day goes by when I don't think about my Mum - despite it being 14 years now.

If you have a supportive boss then that's a help also -  a bit less stress at work will go a long way at home at a difficult time.

All the best ........

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toxic34

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #13 on: 15 December 2010, 08:12:37 »
Really sorry for you and your family. I know how it feels lost my mother in law last friday.  :'(
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Lazydocker

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Re: Just had to tell Master Vamps bad news
« Reply #14 on: 15 December 2010, 08:14:15 »
My deepest sympathies to all of you in the extended Vamps family!

Mike, the only thing you can do is be there for them.
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