Omega Owners Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Welcome to OOF

Pages: 1 ... 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 [78] 79 80 81   Go Down

Author Topic: Sticky for Jokes  (Read 1174697 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Sir Tigger KC

  • Get A Life!!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • West Dorset
  • Posts: 25145
    • BMW 530d Touring
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1155 on: 13 May 2024, 18:50:37 »
Saw a sheep wearing a swimsuit doing 150mph down the M1.

It was in a lambikini
Logged
RIP Paul 'Luvvie' Lovejoy

Politically homeless ......

Raeturbo

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • South Wales
  • Posts: 8352
    • TouregR5Mitsi Evo2. XJ8
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1156 on: 13 May 2024, 21:59:10 »
Old lady knitting while speeding down the motorway, copper pulled up alongside and said Pullover! No, gloves she replied.😵‍💫
Logged
Laying a rubber road.

Varche

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Online Online
  • Gender: Male
  • middle of Andalucia
  • Posts: 14157
  • What is going to break next?
    • Golf Estate
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1157 on: 13 May 2024, 23:38:03 »
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position.

One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your girl down on all fours, and you mount her from behind.

Then you reach around, cup her tits, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.'

Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."
Logged
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they aren’t a robot.

Varche

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Online Online
  • Gender: Male
  • middle of Andalucia
  • Posts: 14157
  • What is going to break next?
    • Golf Estate
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1158 on: 13 May 2024, 23:39:35 »
I was worried that the mechanic would rip me off because I was a blonde woman.

Imagine my relief when I found out that I only needed indicator fluid
Logged
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they aren’t a robot.

Varche

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Online Online
  • Gender: Male
  • middle of Andalucia
  • Posts: 14157
  • What is going to break next?
    • Golf Estate
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1159 on: 13 May 2024, 23:44:21 »
The only thing flat-earthers fear …....

is sphere itself.
Logged
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they aren’t a robot.

Varche

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Online Online
  • Gender: Male
  • middle of Andalucia
  • Posts: 14157
  • What is going to break next?
    • Golf Estate
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1160 on: 13 May 2024, 23:45:36 »
Swampy the eco-warrior has died of a heart attack.

They offered him a bypass but he wasn't having any of it.
Logged
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they aren’t a robot.

Doctor Gollum

  • Get A Life!!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • In a colds and darks puddleses
  • Posts: 30617
  • If you can't eat them, join them...
    • Feetses.
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1161 on: 14 May 2024, 08:13:52 »
Quote from: Varche on 13 May 2024, 23:45:36
Swampy the eco-warrior has died of a heart attack.

They offered him a bypass but he wasn't having any of it.
Funny, but unfortunately untrue.
Logged
Onanists always think outside the box.

Varche

  • Omega Queen
  • *****
  • Online Online
  • Gender: Male
  • middle of Andalucia
  • Posts: 14157
  • What is going to break next?
    • Golf Estate
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1162 on: 14 May 2024, 09:48:29 »
 ;D

A bit like the indicator fluid.
Logged
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they aren’t a robot.

JasonH

  • Omega Knight
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bristol
  • Posts: 1107
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1163 on: 29 June 2024, 15:21:57 »
If I had a penny for every time I get called old fashioned, I’d have 4 sovereigns, 8 shillings and tuppence.
Logged

ronnyd

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bury St Edmunds Suffolk
  • Posts: 9426
    • Vectra 1.8 SRI Silver
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1164 on: 29 June 2024, 16:01:07 »
Quote from: JasonH on 29 June 2024, 15:21:57
If I had a penny for every time I get called old fashioned, I’d have 4 sovereigns, 8 shillings and tuppence.
Now worth 460 quid each.
Logged

JasonH

  • Omega Knight
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bristol
  • Posts: 1107
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1165 on: 08 September 2024, 12:57:51 »
The chef at the cannibal restaurant has been sacked - apparently, he had too many fingers in too many pies...
Logged

JasonH

  • Omega Knight
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bristol
  • Posts: 1107
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1166 on: 19 October 2024, 10:12:20 »
I was furious when I saw two men urinating next to a car... until they told me they were from the company wee by any car!
Logged

ronnyd

  • Omega Lord
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bury St Edmunds Suffolk
  • Posts: 9426
    • Vectra 1.8 SRI Silver
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1167 on: 20 October 2024, 18:18:54 »
Worth the wait Jason.  ;D
Logged

grifter

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Paisley, Scotland
  • Posts: 964
  • Omega Baron
    • Omega 2.6 CD / Elite 3.2
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1168 on: 05 November 2024, 17:03:01 »
Did you hear about the constipated chancellor? He couldn't budge it!
Logged

JasonH

  • Omega Knight
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Bristol
  • Posts: 1107
    • View Profile
Re: Sticky for Jokes
« Reply #1169 on: 25 November 2024, 17:52:15 »
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself “This changes everything.”
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 [78] 79 80 81   Go Up
« previous next »
 

Page created in 0.011 seconds with 17 queries.