As you probably already know, the locking nut 'key' only goes fully on in one position, but is then usually secure enough to take the wrench. Just like the other bolts, the chamfered faces can create a lot of resistance and usually give way with quite a crack. I always apply a small amount of vaseline to these faces on re-tightening to prevent that problem in the future, but there is a small danger that they can be over torqued because of the reduced resistance. I always torque to 110Nm, and stop immediately the wrench clicks.
I have sometimes had to get someone, (not the wife), to apply pressure onto the socket with a piece of timber or similar to keep fingers out of the way whilst I use an extendable bar as carefully as possible. They should then give up the ghost without too much trouble.
I suppose the next alternative has to be an impact air tool, but it shouldn't really be necessary.
I did once watch Kwik fit use a piece of scaffolding as a lever on a van I had, and when the bolts gave way on that occasion it was like a gun going off.
Good luck.