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[wakeyomega]

Didn't the english invent Scotland?  


....and with the hand grenade rolling across the floor, pin pulled
he walks slowly away....backwards.... puts coat on....leaves by the back door.....then runs like hell.

[Tony H]

DAMN FEW AND THEY'RE A' DEID!.............. ........Read on...............

The average Englishmen in the house he calls castle, slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat - patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
In route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.
He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexandar Graham Bell born in Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfrieshire, Scotland.
He watches the news on T.V. an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

Nowhere can an Englishmen turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to findthat the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI - who authorised its translation.
He could take to drink but the scots make the best in the world.
He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with Penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given Chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask -

wha's like us?

  .................apparantely someone else invented the Mince Pie
 

Yes and he was scottish aswell Gordon Mc mince the famous gay Scottish baker from Inverness who named the seasonal pastry after himself

[Revokev]

DAMN FEW AND THEY'RE A' DEID!.............. ........Read on...............

The average Englishmen in the house he calls castle, slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat - patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
In route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.
He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexandar Graham Bell born in Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfrieshire, Scotland.
He watches the news on T.V. an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

Nowhere can an Englishmen turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to findthat the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI - who authorised its translation.
He could take to drink but the scots make the best in the world.
He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with Penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given Chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask -

wha's like us?

  .................apparantely someone else invented the Mince Pie
 

Yes and he was scottish aswell Gordon Mc mince the famous gay Scottish baker from Inverness who named the seasonal pastry after himself

Mince pies are rather english, extract from a history of christmas

Mince pies are a tradition now for Christmas. In Medieval England a large mince pie was always baked. However, they were filled with all sorts of shredded meat along with spices and fruit. This recipe only changed in Victorian times when the shredded meat was left out.

It was also believed that if you made a wish with the first bite of your first mince pie, your  wish would come true. If you also refused the first mince pie someone offered you over Christmas, you would then suffer bad luck

[Golfbuddy]

Tarmac (short for tarmacadam, a portmanteau for tar-penetration macadam) is a type of highway surface.

Strictly speaking, Tarmac refers to a material patented by E. Purnell Hooley in 1901. The term is also used, with varying degrees of correctness, for a variety of other materials, including tar-grouted macadam, Tarvia, bituminous surface treatments and even modern asphalt concrete.

E. Purnell Hooley was ENGLISH.  

[Golfbuddy]

And here are a few more ENGLISH INVENTIONS:


Adjustable spanner
Aerial Steam Carriage
Airbag
Ambrotype
Analytical engine
Automatic Computing Engine
Baking powder
Ballbarrow
Bayko
Bessemer process
Bird's Custard
Blücher (locomotive)
Bombe
Bouncing bomb
Bowden cable
Cat flap
Cat's eye (road)
Catch me who can
Cavity magnetron
Clockwork radio
Coggeshall slide rule
Collodion process
Collodion-albumen process
Colossus computer
Concertina
Congreve rocket
Continuous track
Davy lamp
Difference engine
Displacement lubricator
Dry plate
Electrical generator
Fire extinguisher
Flying shuttle
Geordie lamp
Globotype
Grasshopper escapement
Gridiron pendulum
Hansom cab
High explosive squash head
Hovercraft
Incandescent light bulb
Jet engine
Lawn mower
Lifeboat
Linear motor
Locomotion No 1
MOB boat
Mauveine
Meccano
Newtonian telescope
Parkesine
Pilot (locomotive)
Pilot ACE
Playfair cipher
Portland cement
Power loom
Prime Meridian
Puffing Billy (locomotive)
Resurgam
Rubber band
Sans Pareil
Seat belt
Seed drill
Sewing machine
Sheffield plate
Shrapnel
Sinclair C5
Sinclair Executive
Sinclair ZX80
Slide rule
Spinning frame
Spinning jenny
Spinning mule
Stainless steel
Stephenson's Rocket
Sumlock ANITA calculator
Tank
Tarmac
The Salamanca
Turing machine
Turing machine examples
Turing machine gallery
Vacuum cleaner
Water frame
Wheatstone bridge
Wolfram's 2-state 3-symbol Turing machine
World Wide Web
ZX Spectrum

You can keep your rain coats and talking telegraph machines, it's never for me when it rings anyway.  

[Tony H]

DAMN FEW AND THEY'RE A' DEID!.............. ........Read on...............

The average Englishmen in the house he calls castle, slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat - patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
In route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.
He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexandar Graham Bell born in Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfrieshire, Scotland.
He watches the news on T.V. an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

Nowhere can an Englishmen turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to findthat the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI - who authorised its translation.
He could take to drink but the scots make the best in the world.
He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with Penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given Chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask -

wha's like us?

  .................apparantely someone else invented the Mince Pie
 

Yes and he was scottish aswell Gordon Mc mince the famous gay Scottish baker from Inverness who named the seasonal pastry after himself

Mince pies are rather english, extract from a history of christmas

Mince pies are a tradition now for Christmas. In Medieval England a large mince pie was always baked. However, they were filled with all sorts of shredded meat along with spices and fruit. This recipe only changed in Victorian times when the shredded meat was left out.

It was also believed that if you made a wish with the first bite of your first mince pie, your  wish would come true. If you also refused the first mince pie someone offered you over Christmas, you would then suffer bad luck

Calm down! calm down! Revokev I was only joking to wind the Mc looneys up!

[Revokev]

And here are a few more ENGLISH INVENTIONS:


Adjustable spanner
Aerial Steam Carriage
Airbag
Ambrotype
Analytical engine
Automatic Computing Engine
Baking powder
Ballbarrow
Bayko
Bessemer process
Bird's Custard
Blücher (locomotive)
Bombe
Bouncing bomb
Bowden cable
Cat flap
Cat's eye (road)
Catch me who can
Cavity magnetron
Clockwork radio
Coggeshall slide rule
Collodion process
Collodion-albumen process
Colossus computer
Concertina
Congreve rocket
Continuous track
Davy lamp
Difference engine
Displacement lubricator
Dry plate
Electrical generator
Fire extinguisher
Flying shuttle
Geordie lamp
Globotype
Grasshopper escapement
Gridiron pendulum
Hansom cab
High explosive squash head
Hovercraft
Incandescent light bulb
Jet engine
Lawn mower
Lifeboat
Linear motor
Locomotion No 1
MOB boat
Mauveine
Meccano
Newtonian telescope
Parkesine
Pilot (locomotive)
Pilot ACE
Playfair cipher
Portland cement
Power loom
Prime Meridian
Puffing Billy (locomotive)
Resurgam
Rubber band
Sans Pareil
Seat belt
Seed drill
Sewing machine
Sheffield plate
Shrapnel
Sinclair C5
Sinclair Executive
Sinclair ZX80
Slide rule
Spinning frame
Spinning jenny
Spinning mule
Stainless steel
Stephenson's Rocket
Sumlock ANITA calculator
Tank
Tarmac
The Salamanca
Turing machine
Turing machine examples
Turing machine gallery
Vacuum cleaner
Water frame
Wheatstone bridge
Wolfram's 2-state 3-symbol Turing machine
World Wide Web
ZX Spectrum

You can keep your rain coats and talking telegraph machines, it's never for me when it rings anyway.  

Did you have to put these on there  

[Revokev]

Got one the cyclonic vacuum cleaner...............Yes,get in

Yep actually invented by Robert Dyson, immigrant family from Belgium

Really
I thought it was James

can anyone back me up on this,cus MD has made a few errors on this thread and needs tellin'
 

[Revokev]

Tarmac (short for tarmacadam, a portmanteau for tar-penetration macadam) is a type of highway surface.

Strictly speaking, Tarmac refers to a material patented by E. Purnell Hooley in 1901. The term is also used, with varying degrees of correctness, for a variety of other materials, including tar-grouted macadam, Tarvia, bituminous surface treatments and even modern asphalt concrete.

E. Purnell Hooley was ENGLISH.  

funny though there is a miss hooley on balamory(cbbc)and thats scottish

[Golfbuddy]

And here are a few more ENGLISH INVENTIONS:


Adjustable spanner
Aerial Steam Carriage
Airbag
Ambrotype
Analytical engine
Automatic Computing Engine
Baking powder
Ballbarrow
Bayko
Bessemer process
Bird's Custard
Blücher (locomotive)
Bombe
Bouncing bomb
Bowden cable
Cat flap
Cat's eye (road)
Catch me who can
Cavity magnetron
Clockwork radio
Coggeshall slide rule
Collodion process
Collodion-albumen process
Colossus computer
Concertina
Congreve rocket
Continuous track
Davy lamp
Difference engine
Displacement lubricator
Dry plate
Electrical generator
Fire extinguisher
Flying shuttle
Geordie lamp
Globotype
Grasshopper escapement
Gridiron pendulum
Hansom cab
High explosive squash head
Hovercraft
Incandescent light bulb
Jet engine
Lawn mower
Lifeboat
Linear motor
Locomotion No 1
MOB boat
Mauveine
Meccano
Newtonian telescope
Parkesine
Pilot (locomotive)
Pilot ACE
Playfair cipher
Portland cement
Power loom
Prime Meridian
Puffing Billy (locomotive)
Resurgam
Rubber band
Sans Pareil
Seat belt
Seed drill
Sewing machine
Sheffield plate
Shrapnel
Sinclair C5
Sinclair Executive
Sinclair ZX80
Slide rule
Spinning frame
Spinning jenny
Spinning mule
Stainless steel
Stephenson's Rocket
Sumlock ANITA calculator
Tank
Tarmac
The Salamanca
Turing machine
Turing machine examples
Turing machine gallery
Vacuum cleaner
Water frame
Wheatstone bridge
Wolfram's 2-state 3-symbol Turing machine
World Wide Web
ZX Spectrum

You can keep your rain coats and talking telegraph machines, it's never for me when it rings anyway.  

Did you have to put these on there  

Good point, well made. I think he has Scottish parents.  

[MikeDundee]

Tarmac (short for tarmacadam, a portmanteau for tar-penetration macadam) is a type of highway surface.

Strictly speaking, Tarmac refers to a material patented by E. Purnell Hooley in 1901. The term is also used, with varying degrees of correctness, for a variety of other materials, including tar-grouted macadam, Tarvia, bituminous surface treatments and even modern asphalt concrete.

E. Purnell Hooley was ENGLISH.  

Look again

http://www.electricscotland.com/history/other/macadam_john.htm

[MikeDundee]

Got one the cyclonic vacuum cleaner...............Yes,get in

Yep actually invented by Robert Dyson, immigrant family from Belgium

Really
I thought it was James

can anyone back me up on this,cus MD has made a few errors on this thread and needs tellin'
 

Your probably right could well be James, cos I don't even know what the guys first name is, I have one of his hoovers though

[omegaman2]

did the English not invent talking 'dangle berries' during football matches

[Golfbuddy]

Tarmac (short for tarmacadam, a portmanteau for tar-penetration macadam) is a type of highway surface.

Strictly speaking, Tarmac refers to a material patented by E. Purnell Hooley in 1901. The term is also used, with varying degrees of correctness, for a variety of other materials, including tar-grouted macadam, Tarvia, bituminous surface treatments and even modern asphalt concrete.

E. Purnell Hooley was ENGLISH.  

Look again

http://www.electricscotland.com/history/other/macadam_john.htm

Well, blow me down with a feather, he wasn't English he was Welsh:

Edgar Purnell Hooley (5 June 1860 - 26 January 1942) was the inventor of Tarmac.

Hooley was born in Swansea. In his capacity as the County Surveyor of Nottinghamshire he was passing a tarworks in 1901. He noticed that a barrel of tar had been spilled on the roadway and, in an attempt to reduce the mess, someone had dumped gravel on top of it. The area was remarkably dust-free compared to the surrounding road, and it inspired Hooley to develop and patent Tarmac in Britain.

He called his company Tar Macadam (Purnell Hooley's Patent) Syndicate Limited, but unfortunately he had trouble selling his product as he was not an experienced businessman. His company was soon bought out by the Wolverhampton MP, Sir Alfred Hickman, who was also the owner of a steelworks which produced large quantities of waste slag. The Tarmac company was relaunched in 1905, and became an immediate success: it remains a major player in the UK market for heavy building materials.

He died at his home in Oxford in 1942.

So, whilst a scot had the road design named after him, it was Pooley who invented Tarmac and finished the job properly.

Hope this clears up any confusion you may have been experiencing Mike.  

[Goonlord]

DAMN FEW AND THEY'RE A' DEID!.............. ........Read on...............

The average Englishmen in the house he calls castle, slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat - patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
In route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.
He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexandar Graham Bell born in Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfrieshire, Scotland.
He watches the news on T.V. an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

Nowhere can an Englishmen turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to findthat the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI - who authorised its translation.
He could take to drink but the scots make the best in the world.He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with Penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given Chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask -

wha's like us?

  .................apparantely someone else invented the Mince Pie
 

Not if you live in Ireland