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Author Topic: families.....who rather needs them  (Read 7530 times)

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Vamps

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #75 on: 11 February 2008, 23:52:06 »
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My illness, Lung Cancer, carries a standard none driving time, OK with a car and bike though.

dont know what to say mate

Don't worry all gone, took a whole lung out, everything else moved around a bit. lead a fairly normal life as long as I don't rush around or get overexcited, just have to do things at my own pace. Thought it had come back a couple of years ago, got rather down and needed some support to get me through, hence admitling the disability bit. Joined a support group really helpful cos talking to other people who know.
Have to avoid confrontation cos If i get my rag up I can't breath or talk and it makes things worse. Still alive though and enjoying life best I can, working full time and have the family.

« Last Edit: 11 February 2008, 23:52:37 by floodm »
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zippo

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #76 on: 11 February 2008, 23:53:11 »
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iam disabled it took years to admit it but i hate living on benefits what i was trying to say was thatits not a life and i cant think of anything worse than being at home all day it sends me mad

Honestly mate i would never label someone that need benefts as a bum, sorry if i offended  
no offence taken at all  :) :) :)
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zippo

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #77 on: 11 February 2008, 23:58:04 »
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My illness, Lung Cancer, carries a standard none driving time, OK with a car and bike though.

dont know what to say mate

Don't worry all gone, took a whole lung out, everything else moved around a bit. lead a fairly normal life as long as I don't rush around or get overexcited, just have to do things at my own pace. Thought it had come back a couple of years ago, got rather down and needed some support to get me through, hence admitling the disability bit. Joined a support group really helpful cos talking to other people who know.
Have to avoid confrontation cos If i get my rag up I can't breath or talk and it makes things worse. Still alive though and enjoying life best I can, working full time and have the family.

my problem arent even close to what you and your famliy must have gone through iam really chuffed for you
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Vamps

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #78 on: 11 February 2008, 23:59:02 »
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My illness, Lung Cancer, carries a standard none driving time, OK with a car and bike though.

Its my LGV and PCV licences that are in the wringer meantime.  And some uneducated ringpiece in upper management at my work says that the same medical criteria apply to blues and twos driving.  Despite being pressed in the extreme to quote statutes, is unable to do so and open warfare is almost announced....

Chin up.  Life is now challenges to be overcome, not problems to stop you....

Agreed, get on with it, the option is not really worth considering but easy to fall into.
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zippo

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #79 on: 12 February 2008, 00:03:16 »
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My illness, Lung Cancer, carries a standard none driving time, OK with a car and bike though.

Its my LGV and PCV licences that are in the wringer meantime.  And some uneducated ringpiece in upper management at my work says that the same medical criteria apply to blues and twos driving.  Despite being pressed in the extreme to quote statutes, is unable to do so and open warfare is almost announced....

Chin up.  Life is now challenges to be overcome, not problems to stop you....

Agreed, get on with it, the option is not really worth considering but easy to fall into.
i think youve been talking to crazydad to much because he has the same way with words  ;D ;D ;D
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Vamps

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #80 on: 12 February 2008, 00:09:35 »
Well done Zippo, 4 stars. :y :y :y
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amigov6

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #81 on: 12 February 2008, 00:13:27 »
Only got one child, now 22 years old. He's called Scott, (amongst other things) His Mother & i have been apart for some years now but luckily get on very well. we were his age when he was born & both spent several years single parenting, she had him till he was 5, he came to me, back to her @ 13, back to me @ 15 back to her @ 18, still down South now. Always challenging at home, school, flitted from one course to another, for once i wo'nt elaborate. More recently this last xmas he txted me saying he's "disappearing from his family" & if i want to know more phone his Mum. After a couple of days i called & she said that & xmas he told her he should never have been born & we had him on a whim...he was planned. He still lives with his Nan On Mums side. I texted him back (no answer when i phoned) saying he knows where i am if he wants me. He has held a job down for a year or two now. I love him but he can get on with it now i can't wipe his arse for ever. I'm not much into family life the last few years, happy on my own. I'll always be his Dad, you never stop being a parent but you reach the point when you don't know what more you can do.
      He 's 22 now, my door's still open.
     Sorry, that went on a bit did'nt it? Seems i'm not alone. :y
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zippo

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #82 on: 12 February 2008, 00:15:09 »
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Well done Zippo, 4 stars. :y :y :y

oh yeah, didnt even notice
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zippo

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #83 on: 12 February 2008, 00:22:53 »
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Only got one child, now 22 years old. He's called Scott, (amongst other things) His Mother & i have been apart for some years now but luckily get on very well. we were his age when he was born & both spent several years single parenting, she had him till he was 5, he came to me, back to her @ 13, back to me @ 15 back to her @ 18, still down South now. Always challenging at home, school, flitted from one course to another, for once i wo'nt elaborate. More recently this last xmas he txted me saying he's "disappearing from his family" & if i want to know more phone his Mum. After a couple of days i called & she said that & xmas he told her he should never have been born & we had him on a whim...he was planned. He still lives with his Nan On Mums side. I texted him back (no answer when i phoned) saying he knows where i am if he wants me. He has held a job down for a year or two now. I love him but he can get on with it now i can't wipe his arse for ever. I'm not much into family life the last few years, happy on my own. I'll always be his Dad, you never stop being a parent but you reach the point when you don't know what more you can do.
      He 's 22 now, my door's still open.
     Sorry, that went on a bit did'nt it? Seems i'm not alone. :y
don't think that you went on at all my dad who i think is just.......
brilliant once told me that there isn't a manual for being a parent and that sometimes parents don't have all the answers and make mistakes
and i remember that when i have a problem with my 2
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Jay w

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #84 on: 18 February 2008, 09:49:54 »
Just a quick update.

Got home on Friday, the wife and i had been talking about how to handle the situation and what message we wanted to get across to him Vs what his side of the situation was.

After a fairly consructive discussion with him doing a lot of the talking he has agreed that he needs to knuckle down and sort his life out, he has applied to the army  :o :o and is waiting his date for his first assessment, when i asked him why he was doing this he came back with the fact that he feels it will give him direction, discipline and opportunities that civvy life isn't giving him currently.

My wife was really good, she refused to let him stay in the house overnight during the week, he was welcome in during the day for a chat, change of clothes etc. Strangely enough by being this harsh on him he opened up a bit and talked like a 'adult' to her about what he wanted to do and shared his concerns. Banning him from the house did seem harsh,  but we knew where he was on a nighttime and what he didn't realise was if there was any risk of him not having somewhere safe to sleep my wife would have told him to come home.

up until now he has only seen a snapshot of his friends lifestyle, and that's the bit where they have no commitment to work, by being with them for more than a few hours he started to realise that without money he can do very little, and his anticipated late nights out down the pub and long lie ins the following morning were in fact a non starter.

So we have peace and happiness in the house again, he apologised for his attitude and behaviour, i hope that this is the start of a better relationship with him

cheers for the tips and support guys, one or two of you offered soome great ideas  :y and they were things that i hadn't considered.
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Golfbuddy

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #85 on: 18 February 2008, 10:31:47 »
Delighted for the four of you Jay.  :y
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cem_devecioglu

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #86 on: 18 February 2008, 10:32:58 »
good news :y
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zippo

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #87 on: 18 February 2008, 10:33:03 »
iam glad your son has seen the light so to speak and i wish him  the best of luck in the army i hope he also realises what a cracking family he has too :y :y
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Jimbob

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #88 on: 18 February 2008, 10:46:57 »
Glad it seems resolved, hope it all works out for you  :y
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DaveyDavey

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Re: families.....who rather needs them
« Reply #89 on: 18 February 2008, 11:23:05 »
Blimey!!  Very glad to hear that things have settled down though and are moving in the right direction.

Actually it was quite nice to read through to a good conclusion at the end. Also gives me tips for my little one, when he starts to go through the troublesome phase. Admittedly that's not for another 13 years as he's only 18 months old  ;D
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