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[chrisgixer]

Chris - as you know I have had similar issues for some years. The last thing you need is for your own family and health to suffer because parents want to cling on to their surroundings for as long as possible.

I had private carers going in a few times a day as necessary to keep things under control and this worked fine as it was the same carers all the time not an agency type thing where it can be a different one almost every week.

Yes I remember those posts.   jeez....

Brings back memories of grandparents and the decline due to Altzheimers.  Not something any human should have to endure. As a career or a patient. Luckily we are a way off that yet

[Terbs]

Chris....has anyone got Power of Attorney. Advise strongly to do it while they are compus mentus. It can save you one hell of a job if things deteriorate.

[Kevin Wood]

Chris....has anyone got Power of Attorney. Advise strongly to do it while they are compus mentus. It can save you one hell of a job if things deteriorate.

Agreed, but one battle at a time might also be a better approach, especially if there's any reluctance to give up their independence.

[chrisgixer]

Chris....has anyone got Power of Attorney. Advise strongly to do it while they are compus mentus. It can save you one hell of a job if things deteriorate.

Agreed, but one battle at a time might also be a better approach, especially if there's any reluctance to give up their independence.

Yeah that's a good point, from both, its a fine balance that's directly proportionate between how hard to push, and urgency/time left. At least that's the way the family see it.

Being slightly pedantic I think they accept the concept so it's not that they see a loss of independence, as such, in fact I think they see it quite the opposite once settled. Yet nothing has happened for the last two years. They do appreciate they are a bit cut off out there, and the health service shows a great deal to be desired for them too from what they're saying.

I dunno. I don't get it. Old people aye...

[redelitev6]

Chris....has anyone got Power of Attorney. Advise strongly to do it while they are compus mentus. It can save you one hell of a job if things deteriorate.

I would try and go through the huge amount of paperwork they will have probably amassed over the years , when my step father died we found old penny policies and a funeral policy ( druids friendly society ! )  going back to the 1930s , we thought they were worthless but they all paid out some not inconsiderable sums of money , we even had the money in the biscuit tin under the sink routine ( "just in case" )  No one wants to think about their parents death but it's better to get things in order now     

[Rods2]

Hold a family meeting with them. Outline the problems and possible solutions and each time they come up with an objection, find an acceptable answer, until they run out of objections. At this point outline what has been agreed and what the plan is with who is doing what with a time scale and then say to them that is all agreed then? At this point shut up as you must wait for them to answer, if they agree than implement the action plan, if they have more objections, find solutions until they run out again, then outline what they have agree etc.

This is a standard high pressure selling technique, but it does get results, in this case where you have their best interests at heart and you need a solution for their sake, I can't see such a technique being morally wrong as you would kick yourself if something happens that could of been avoided if your family had acted sooner and more assertively.

It is then important that each family member does their jobs in a timely manner, so if you have agreed to contact the local estate agents to make valuation appointments on Monday morning then you have to make sure that you do.

HTH

Yeah we've not met yet have we Rods because if we had you'd know that there are some people in life that see that sort of approach as a challenge.

And knowing the individuals involved, which I haven't really given you a clue on to be fair, that would probably instigate one of those family family splits mentioned earlier. Which would be very very upsetting for this particular house hold.

There are some people in life that can be pushed, and some that can be pulled. This is most definitely the latter. Actually that's arguable but we're most certainly not looking at a confrontational approach. We all, in the family, know that won't work.


The latest thinking is that as this is a more serious incident, that the penny might drop. Assuming there's reasonable recovery of course. I don't see it myself.

You know your family and what will and won't work. I hope you mange to find a satisfactory solution in these difficult and stressful circumstances.