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[carlos_fandango]

Alcohol free lager. Its like licking your sisters fa##y, it tastes the same but its JUST NOT RIGHT.

I know GROSS, SORRY but its funny.
Got that one from my bro, he works for carlsberg.

[Darth Loo-knee]

A man is watching a boxing match on tv,
that was rubbish, he says to his wife, It was all over in three minutes,
Good she replies! now you know how i feel...

 

 

[Minispud]

Here we go then

 Hhelllloo iis ttthiis tthhee oownneerr oof tthhe sssshop ttthaatt I gottt theee vvibbrattor ffromm??  Hhow ddo uuu ttturrn tthe ffucckkinn ttthingg ooffff??  

[Darth Loo-knee]

LMAO

[Minispud]

Jake was dying, his wife Becky was by his bed.
 "Becky" he said "There's something I must confess."
 "Shhh. There's nothin' too confess my darling. It's alright." "No I must die in peace."
 "I shagged yor sister,yor best friend, her best friend & your mother !"
"I know" whispered Becky softly.

         "that's why I poisoned u, u bas^*rd."

[Vamps]

Jake was dying, his wife Becky was by his bed.
 "Becky" he said "There's something I must confess."
 "Shhh. There's nothin' too confess my darling. It's alright." "No I must die in peace."
 "I shagged yor sister,yor best friend, her best friend & your mother !"
"I know" whispered Becky softly.

         "that's why I poisoned u, u bas^*rd."

Oh yes.  

[Minispud]

 Name 6 great "Kings" who have brought happiness into peoples lives.






  [size=12]Answer:-

   Drin-king, Fuc-king, Lic-king,
  Suc-king, Span-king & Wan-king.[/size][/b]  

[zippo]

Name 6 great "Kings" who have brought happiness into peoples lives.






  [size=12]Answer:-

   Drin-king, Fuc-king, Lic-king,
  Suc-king, Span-king & Wan-king.[/size][/b]  

lmao very good

[Minispud]

  Last one for now

    A 7yr + 4yr old are upstairs in their bedroom. "U know wot" sez 7yr old, "I thing it's time we startd swearin'. When we go downstairs 4 brkfast I'll swear 1st then U." "Ok" sez 4yr old.
  Mum coms from kitchen & asks 7yr old wot he wants 4 brkfast. "sh*t mum I'll hav Cocopops" WHACK, he flew out of his chair cryin' his eyes out.
  Mum looked @ 4yr old & said sternly "And wot du want 4 brkfast." "I don't know" he blubbers "but it wont b oppsin cocopops!"

[zippo]

 Last one for now

    A 7yr + 4yr old are upstairs in their bedroom. "U know wot" sez 7yr old, "I thing it's time we startd swearin'. When we go downstairs 4 brkfast I'll swear 1st then U." "Ok" sez 4yr old.
  Mum coms from kitchen & asks 7yr old wot he wants 4 brkfast. "sh*t mum I'll hav Cocopops" WHACK, he flew out of his chair cryin' his eyes out.
  Mum looked @ 4yr old & said sternly "And wot du want 4 brkfast." "I don't know" he blubbers "but it wont b oppsin cocopops!"

[Vamps]

 Last one for now

    A 7yr + 4yr old are upstairs in their bedroom. "U know wot" sez 7yr old, "I thing it's time we startd swearin'. When we go downstairs 4 brkfast I'll swear 1st then U." "Ok" sez 4yr old.
  Mum coms from kitchen & asks 7yr old wot he wants 4 brkfast. "sh*t mum I'll hav Cocopops" WHACK, he flew out of his chair cryin' his eyes out.
  Mum looked @ 4yr old & said sternly "And wot du want 4 brkfast." "I don't know" he blubbers "but it wont b oppsin cocopops!"

Yep, like that one.  

[maria]

I love that one

[Jimbob]

A gypsy wedding in Ireland ends in a riot.  Police arrest 20 and they end up in court.  Best man says to the judge "I can explain what happened, its traveller tradition for the best man to have the 1st dance, which I did, the dancing was very close.   The groom runs at us and kicked his bride in the fanny!" "Gosh" says the judge "that must have hurt", "HURT!?" says the best man "he broke 3 of my fingers!"

[maria]

Brilliant

[Jimbob]

Paddy pulls along side a lorry "oi driver, yer losing yer load!" "break off" the driver replies.
5 miles down the road "OI, YER LOSING YER LOAD", "Will you break off" comes the reply.
Another 5 miles down the road "Im not joking, yer still losing yer load"
Driver replies "Will you just break off yer think irish tw@, I'm gritting!!!"