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[maria]

Two old ladies, mavis and Elsie, are standing in the rain smoking when mavis pulls out a condom, Cuts off the end and puts  it over her cigarette, 'My god! Elsie exclaims, 'What on earth's that?
' A condom', Mavis replies, so my ciggie doesn't get wet,
Impressed, elsie goes to the chemist and asks for a box of condoms,
Although shocked, the pharmacist asks her which brand she prefers,
Doesn't matter, Elsie says. Just as long as it fits a camel

[Kevin Wood]

 

[The Elite]

Very funny!

[maria]

Q Why is a marriage like an electric toothbrush?











A If it's working well, there's a real buzz, but if it's broken down, you have to go back to using your hand..

[Entwood]

 

[Darth Loo-knee]

Very Good

[maria]

Got to cheer this forum up some how  

[amigov6]

Sir Paul is talking to the press when he's asked:- Sir Paul despite the messy divorce & considering your age do you think you'll ever go down on one knee again?" To which he replies, "There's no need for that, i'd rather you call her Heather"! :-/

[maria]

very good I have started you of now any more

[Debs.]

    Ooh-er missus!  

  Cheered me up!  

[Darth Loo-knee]

A foul mouthed, filthy, ugly, fat woman walks into Asda with her two bad behaved brats under her arms.
An Asda worker standing by the door says,
"Good morning Madam, what beautiful children you have, are they twins?"
she replies, " You stupid B***ard, she is 7 and he is only F****ng 3, why would you think they were twins ya dickhead?"
Asda's worker replies "because I can't imagine anyone shaggin ya twice!"
 

[maria]

That was brilliant   loved it

[Darth Loo-knee]

Husband finishes reading "Man of the House" when he storms into the kitchen pointing his finger at his wife, "from now on I want you to know I am the man of the house, my word is Law, you will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, after run me a bath, then give me great sex, then in the morning guess who's gonna dress me?"
She replies "The F****ng Undertaker!"

 

[maria]

Bloody good

[Debs.]

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