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[Lizzie_Zoom]

Yes famalies can and do all this too you!   It is always said:

"you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family"

In these situations Jay you must let your head rule, not your heart, and make the decision to kick her out for the sake of your health and your family!

Heartache there will be, and plenty of insults thrown, but the pain will not last!  The question is would you rather have all the agro of letting the situation continue, or give yourself a real break, move on and don't look back?! :-? :-?

I speak with some experience of making a decision that costs you a huge part of one side of your family Jay, but it is bloody worth it in the end!!

[MikeDundee]

Know what you mean and are on about .............probabaly cause too much hassle as you said to chuck her out, tell her she's on notice and give her 2 months to get her own place, I know what it's like to lose that privacy side, your wife and kids have a life to live, ideally without others living with you be it family or not. I have had a mate of mine lodging with me for a couple of months now, but I told him that me and Kate need our privacy, he rents a room shares the rest except not the front room etc..   So far it has worked fine and charging a lot more than you are, and without any food or that.

Anyway will be fun when we come back from Thailand will have two of them Nok and Mark, but one will have to go when we come back, and should we purchase an SUV when in thailand the rent will cover the payments on the SUV  

Then again could just chuck her out, and not give any notice, she'll soon realise how lucky she has been, albeit it too late

[hotel21]

Evict her.

Let A.N.Other member of the extended family take her in.  Accept the short term flack from the remainder of the family who think you are a selfish uncaring brute but then retake the moral high ground with A.N.Other as a converted supporter to your cause as she will no doubt sh!t on that doorstep as well....

[amigov6]

Hopefully you feel better getting all that off your chest and I am sure a lot of people can relate to your predicament  - but have to agree with Martin - give her notice and then wave her goodye and get on with looking after the people you care about.

and that's where i am caught over the proverbial barrel....

I have no family, my mum and dad passed away a few years go, the kids only have my wifes side of the family.

Now his ex-wife just doesn't get involved anymore.....well she isn't sober long enough, that leaves the father in law, sis in law and brother in law....

If i turf her out i am the bastard, and the kids lose out. Sis in law is VERY manipulative and i have no doubt is sining a different story to her side of the family, one of how she is hard done by and how i am robbing her blind etc.etc, so when i turf her out i will be the baddie and the ones that are closets to me, the kids and my wife, suffer

A:- boot her out, short term grief. B:- Let her stay, long term grief. C:- let her stay but refuse to pay for or repair anything & hope your immediate family see what an ungrateful freeloader she is. The time will come when your wife or one of the children wants something at the same time SHE wants something, then you've got it in the bag matey. You explain you can only afford one or the other & let them choose. Hopefully that will open a few eyes & keep you in the clear. I'd have turfed her out ages ago despite the flak but i'm a blunt c***!!!

erm..Can I take the option A..

I would Cem. The irony is he'd get trouble from the family he's trying to protect, can't win sometimes!!!!

[MikeDundee]

Help Jayw out with a vote on his predicament

[STMO123]

Listen to me Jay. She sounds like an absolute nightmare and you HAVE to show her the door. Talk it through with your wife and, if she agrees, give the leech a date by which she must leave, and make it clear this is not negotiable, she will be turfed out if she doesn't leave.
As for the bit about your kids/family suffering as part of the fallout, I have learned over three marriages and two messy divorces that your family consists of you, yourwife and your kids, no one else matters. If you stick together through thick and thin people will come to realise that they cant hurt you. Do it mate or she will come between you and your loved ones.







Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her

[Lizzie_Zoom]

Yes famalies can and do all this too you!   It is always said:

"you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family"

In these situations Jay you must let your head rule, not your heart, and make the decision to kick her out for the sake of your health and your family!

Heartache there will be, and plenty of insults thrown, but the pain will not last!  The question is would you rather have all the agro of letting the situation continue, or give yourself a real break, move on and don't look back?! :-? :-?

I speak with some experience of making a decision that costs you a huge part of one side of your family Jay, but it is bloody worth it in the end!!

EDIT:  Now voted:   [size=24] EVICT!!![/size]

[The Barge Captain]

Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her

Nice.

[STMO123]

Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her

Nice.

Thank you

[albitz]

your being taken for a mug mate,sling her out.If the rest of the family think she is so great challenge them to let her live with them for 6 months and then see if their opinions change.
My family circumstances have always meant that the only things my kids ever had were provided by me,and now that they are older and understand why,theythink more highly of me because of it.
As long as you can get your wife to agree that she has to go (as much for your wifes health as anything else) then I would make a clean,swift break.
just my tuppence worth etc;

[Marks DTM Calib]

Throw her out.....or it will ruin your christmas.....

Charity begins at home....i.e. you.

Get rid of the free loading bitch, it will make her stand on her own two feet.

[amigov6]

As Lizzie said, sling the do'nut out now, wear the relatively short term grief & enjoy chrimbo or back down & let it go on indefinately & suffer long term.
    Time to take control of all you love, care & pay for.


     LET'S CLEAN HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8-)

[Jay w]

Thanks for the comments guys.......and the poll  

STMO - no way would i touch her with the splinters off a wooden dick.....she is not my type

She has been moaning to father in law again, i am going to have to deal with this on the weekend, i am away from home this week so that will be the first chance i get to deal with her face to face....

I think it is getting my wife down as well....

and as for upsetting xmas, yes that could be a real possibility, and that is something i dont want to risk

[Bandit127]

Sorry Jay W but you seem to have backed yourself in to a corner on this. And I think she is playing on that. Manipulative people are very good at reading these situations.

If she is anything like the person I know, she will think she has a right to (what she sees) as your massive wealth. And she will be scheming about how to get a bigger piece of it. Right now...

You need to take a view on the effect that a wound up, unhappy Mum and Dad is having on the kids and balance that against the rest of the family being hostile.

She will, of course, go to the ends of the world to make sure that the rest of the family is hostile. But you will cope with that. Persistence on your part will win through.

She has got to go. But you need to find the way to do it that gives you the best outcome. And 6 months of hard work getting the rest of  the family back on board may be the best outcome.

I voted - give her notice. 3 months gets you over the Christmas period so she can't blackmail you with that.

See a solicitor and make it legal. Local Authority will then make sure she doesn't end up on the streets. Perhaps sell the legal bit to her on that basis.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[amigov6]

Southampton, Poole......have you got a spare room for her?