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[Dazzler]

And Plymouth is very convenient for a certain well known armed force....

But if he does join up and stays there, don't square up to him again

[Elite Pete]

If he wants to run away, let him run, it will open his eyes and make him realise just how much support he has had from you and the wife.

I have a step daughter and I know how difficult it can be, my wife used to tell me "oh leave her alone" when I used to speak to her if I wasnt happy about something.

[Marie]

he's 18.


pack his suitcase, and tell him to break off, whether to his dad's or to parts unknown, doesn't matter....   and make that clear...  you no longer care because he's run out of last chances and parental patience.

and under NO circumstances take him back.

it's hard, but sometimes , you have to be a mean bastardo to do what's best for them....  we had a similar experience with our eldest...   resolved only by literally kicking her out......

and we're having a tough time right now with our middle one (out of 5)

but he's well aware i don't have limitless patience, and has already got himself a part time (2/3 days a week) job, and is beginning to pay us rent....   (70% of take home wage) ....   we're still trying to get his lazy-ish,  arse back to college for A levels....


the lass between them is at Uni, and working hard to get a decent degree in a field she wants to work in....    expensive, but worthwhile!

My god its gone up my mother used to take 33.3% of my wage.infact she did it to all 3 of us girls.

As for throughing him out DO IT!!! make sure mother agrees first.

My mother did this to my kid sister, she had dissapeared of for the day boy did she get a shock when she came home and found the entire contants of her room in bin bas on the drive.
It worked though she now at 19 has a good job, a sence of responsiblitiy and respects others.

i let for the Royal Navy to get away from the folks, it was great the best thing i ever did. i was 17 1/2 when i left home and ill behonest it was hard somedays but i look back now and see that i managed to stand on my own to feet!

[Jay w]

In a word - ARMY    

he looked at it.......for about 2 mins.....

realised that he was going to be bossed about, was still keen until he realised that the army wasn't a 9-5 mon-fri. :-?
I didn't help as when he said about the hours i burst out laughing and asked a him question
'Do you think people only do war on weekdays and during office hours?'
his response was no surprise to me, he genuinely thought that 5 on friday the army, navy and air forace all knocked off for the weekend  

My wife has agreed, but i know that as we speak he is on the phone trying to crawl back into the house on the weeks that i am not there....

So, i have changed the locks today
Have a friend removing all his stuff and placing it in the garage
his car is up for sale (Renault clit 1.4 rt, 7 months MOT, £400)
his room will be painted pink and his sister will have an 'upgrade'
and he has been told to meet me and his mum this saturday in a neutral location, at this point he will be told what is happening.

i am the one however that feels like the bas***d in all of this, i just hope it does him good

[Marie]

In a word - ARMY    

he looked at it.......for about 2 mins.....

realised that he was going to be bossed about, was still keen until he realised that the army wasn't a 9-5 mon-fri. :-?
I didn't help as when he said about the hours i burst out laughing and asked a him question
'Do you think people only do war on weekdays and during office hours?'
his response was no surprise to me, he genuinely thought that 5 on friday the army, navy and air forace all knocked off for the weekend  

My wife has agreed, but i know that as we speak he is on the phone trying to crawl back into the house on the weeks that i am not there....

So, i have changed the locks today
Have a friend removing all his stuff and placing it in the garage
his car is up for sale (Renault clit 1.4 rt, 7 months MOT, £400)
his room will be painted pink and his sister will have an 'upgrade'
and he has been told to meet me and his mum this saturday in a neutral location, at this point he will be told what is happening.

i am the one however that feels like the bas***d in all of this, i just hope it does him good

it will do him the world of good and beleive it or not he will thank you in a few years when he relises hes making something of himself and not a bum like his mates.

dont be to hard on yourself these things have to be done your not the first and wont be the last to do it.

Good luck keep us updated!

[Marks DTM Calib]

No job and he has a car!

[cem_devecioglu]

sooner or later will step on earth

[cem_devecioglu]

No job and he has a car!

yes thats interesting..

[Markjay]

The Army would do him good, I totally agree. However due to costs cuts etc the military no longer needs masses of people as in the good old days of the Cold War, and since they (rightly) do not see their role as being problem-solvers for society misfits, chances are that with his attitude (judging from Jay W's account) the MoD will not be interested....

[Jay w]

No job and he has a car!

18th birthday present, i bought it, taxed it insured it and paid for a load of driving lessons.

Now it just sits on the drive and the only time it moves is when i use it.

Yeah, i know i was having a soft in the head moment when i bought it for him

[TheBoy]

Now I'm certainly not best placed to give any advice.  But if wrapped in cotton wool/spoilt/whatever (I'm not saying he was - though I'm sure he's done the Mum v Dad since the split), he'll find real life (ie, not school) hard going when he's always had someone to clean up after him and look after him all his life.

I left home at 18 - though for other reasons (parents moved away, I wanted to stay put) - and it taught me a lot.  The 1st 3 months in particular, I realised an awful lot about how hard things could be.  I learnt who my real friends were, and try never to take anyone for granted.  It also taught me a LOT of life skills, and how to deal with people.


My situation was different - I never had issues with Mum or Dad, and they were very supportive after the initial disappointment I was leaving home.


But, don't be scared to kick him out - he may learn to be more responsible.  Just try to do all you can to stop him getting in with wrong crowd.

[Jay w]

The Army would do him good, I totally agree. However due to costs cuts etc the military no longer needs masses of people as in the good old days of the Cold War, and since they (rightly) do not see their role as being problem-solvers for society misfits, chances are that with his attitude (judging from Jay W's account) the MoD will not be interested....

I honestly believe it would do it the world of good, but he wouldn't tolerate the basic training, he cant stand any form of authority telling him what to do.

[TheBoy]

Also, as said, I'm in no position for giving advice, but I agree, the Services would give him the real kick up the backside he obviously needs.  But then, so would any job, esp if he needs the money...

[Marie]

The Army would do him good, I totally agree. However due to costs cuts etc the military no longer needs masses of people as in the good old days of the Cold War, and since they (rightly) do not see their role as being problem-solvers for society misfits, chances are that with his attitude (judging from Jay W's account) the MoD will not be interested....

I honestly believe it would do it the world of good, but he wouldn't tolerate the basic training, he cant stand any form of authority telling him what to do.

its going to be a coulture sock a big one.......

i would give him a incentive to make it through basic training.
like giving him his car back....once hes over this hurdle he can afford to keep the car and hes got to know the lads a bit. and may even find he enjoys it.

just an idea dangling a carrot (as such) might help

[Markjay]

..is there anything at all that he is interested in? e.g. football, computers (or computer games, game consoles), etc? Might be a good idea to try and get him involved in some way with work based on something he likes, just to get him started, even if it is not a full-time paid job? For example if he is into game consoles then being a shop assistant at your local Curry's or Dixons might be an idea.....?